Hello buddies … Today I’m going to share with you some ways on “HOW TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP”
The relation isn’t like Rain, which comes and goes away, Relation is like Air, sometimes Silent, but always Around. A true relationship is the one in which both parties remain close together, even when it’s stormy.
Well, it’s not necessarily. If you’re living in a relationship, you still have the nerve-wracking task of breaking the news to your parents. And depending on where mom and dad fall on the “protectiveness” scale, it could go really well… or your relationship could be over before you even get time to begin.
Either way, telling your parents about your new relationship should always be treated with care. Here are some of the best tips to ensure that communication goes smoothly.
1. Prepare for All Possibilities:
Before you even get to know your parents about your new relationship, you need to begin preparing yourself for anything and everything that might happen. You can never be quite sure how your parents are going to react to the big news, so it’s better to get into a conversation that’s ready for any outcome. That way, if things don’t go your way, you’re going to be able to keep your head straight and talk calmly through the circumstance, rather than getting upset or tears.
2. Break the News:
(a)Write it out:
If you’re afraid you’re going to get frustrated, it’s all right to write out what you think you’re going to say. This can help you handle what you want to say so that you can express your new relationship in the best possible way. That way, when the time comes, you’re going to be able to get it out without stopping.
As you write what you might say, you may learn to recognize the answers from your parents. You can answer their concerns in this way as you tell them about your boyfriend.
(b)Practice delivering the news:
It’s normal to be apprehensive about telling your parents about your new relationship. Practicing what you’re going to tell them can make it easier. Use a friend or a relative’s understanding to practice. You can practice in front of a mirror, too.
Ask someone you trust to help, not someone who might reveal your news before you’re ready. For example, choose a cousin you’re close to, rather than an older brother, who might feel obliged to tell your parents.
(c)Figure out who to tell first:
You might have a parent that you feel closer to, or maybe one of your parents tends to be more lenient than the other. Often, breaking news with a parent who’s easier to talk to can clear a way to talk to the other parent.
For example, if you grew up as a “daddy’s girl,” which means you can wrap it around your little finger now, you might start with your dad. On the other hand, if your dad tends to be overprotective, you might start with your mom instead.
This approach can be a very helpful idea if you’re a teenager with your first boyfriend.
(d)Pick a good time:
You don’t want to tell your parents when they’re busy with something else, or when they’re not in a good mood. If you want, you can ask them when they’re going to have a good time to talk. Try to choose a time when the house is quiet, and your parents are not frustrated or distracted by anything else.
However, don’t use picking a good time as a way to continually put off telling them. You will need to tell them eventually, so you might as well get it over with.
(e)Identify what you’re feeling:
You hesitate to tell your parents for a reason. Do you think your parents are going to be mad because you’re dating? Maybe you don’t think they’re going to approve of the person you’re dating. On the other hand, you might prefer to keep your personal life private. Knowing what you’re feeling is important because that’s what you can use in the conversation.
(f)Get it over with:
You just need to get the discussion over when you sit down. Don’t beat the bush around it. However, with the qualifiers, you can soften the blow. For example, you could say, “I really love you two, and I don’t want to make you mad. Also, I really want to be honest with you about my life. I want to tell you about the boy that I’ve started dating.”
(g)Talk about why you feel you are ready to date:
If you’re trying to make a case for dating, lay down the reasons why you think you should be able to do that. For example, you might think you should be able to date because you’re in high school, and most of the people your age are allowed to date. Be appropriate, and don’t get angry if your parents don’t agree with me.
Your family likely won’t respond well to “But everyone else is doing it!”
(h)Be willing to negotiate:
If your parents don’t want you to date and you ask them to let you go, you need to be prepared to compromise. You might suggest that you just see your boyfriend at school, or that you just go on group dates with other people. Your parents just want to protect you, so you’ve got to be willing to give up some of your freedom.
Listen to what your parents have to say and consider whether their concerns are valid. Though they may be annoying at times, remember that your parents are older and more experienced than you are. They might spot red flags or issues of concern you haven’t experienced yet. If they express concern, watch out for signs that they might be true.
(i)Discuss the person:
Tell your parents about your boyfriend. Talk to them about his family, and about what you like about him. Highlight his good qualities so that they can get a sense of who he is. It’s also very helpful to have a photo for them to see.
Your parents are likely to have many, many questions. It is beneficial to answer every question as honestly and fully as possible in order to reassure them of your new relationship. If you try to hide or lie about something, your parents might be suspicious and anxious.
If your boyfriend has a good family relationship, make sure your parents know about it. This trait is a major plus for many parents because it lets them know that this new guy in your life knows how to value others, and that he can appreciate the close ties of the family.
(j)Don’t try to hide it:
One of the most valuable aspects to do if you want your parents to accept your boyfriend is to tell them about your relationship. If someone else finds out about your relationship, they might believe that you were trying to hide it because you felt you were doing something wrong.
You should tell your parents about your boyfriend even if you don’t plan to make any formal introductions soon. Avoiding conversation will only make it more difficult to have, eventually, and increase the chances that your parents might find out from another source.
Once you get older and you’ve moved out of the house, you don’t necessarily need to bring up every date or every boyfriend you’ve got. Wait until a guy comes along that you can only and seriously commit to before everyone gets to work.
3. Be Mature:
Relationships are really a big deal. Not only are they a big sign that you’re growing up, but they’re also a chance for you to take care of someone other than yourself. The best way to show your parents that you’re ready for this kind of responsibility is to be mature when you tell them about your relationship.
Do not start giggling or refuse to use words like “relationship” or “boyfriend/girlfriend.” If you show ignorance while telling your parents about your relationship, they might start thinking that you’re too childish to be part of a real relationship. However, if you can approach a discussion with poise and a level head, they’ll have a hard time arguing that you’re not mature enough to date seriously.
4. Deal With Special Circumstances:
(a)Wait on the negatives:
If you know something about your boyfriend is going to bother your parents, don’t start talking to them. Instead, wait until the middle or the end of the discussion and talk about it. For example, if your boyfriend is older than you, you might want to hold on to that bit of news until the end of the discussion.
(b)Understand your parents may be upset:
If you’re going against your parents’ expectations of you, they’re probably going to be upset. You’re just going to have to deal with their frustration, and even their tears, until you can get them to see the reason.
(c)Give it time:
It might take a little while for your parents to get used to the idea. If they get upset while you talk to them and say “no,” they might change their minds later when they get a little cool. Either way, you need to respect the fact that you still need to have a relationship with them, which means that you can’t just write them down as evil because they told you no.
5. Choose a Good Time:
Perhaps the most important factor in the success of your discussion with your parents is timing. You have to choose a moment that will allow them to fully handle the information and discuss it with you, without interruptions. If you try to jump on them while they’re busy or frizzy, they’re more likely to get upset, ruining your chances of having a meaningful discussion.
Choose a time when you know that your parents don’t have anywhere else to do or anything else to do. If you don’t seem to be able to find a moment, just let them know that you have something to talk to them about and ask them to tell you when it’s a good time. That way, everyone will be able to say everything they want without feeling under stress or frustrated, which is likely to make the result much more positive for you.
It might be your relationship, but it’s not all about you talking to your parents. You have to be prepared to listen to the point of view of your parents, even if it’s not exactly what you want to hear. You don’t have to agree, and you get an opportunity to reply to how you feel, but listening to what your parents think is a crucial component of ensuring a great conversation. It will give you insight into where they are, and it will show them that you’re mature enough to have a tough conversation.
7. Be Prepared to Answer Questions:
At some point or another, we’ve all been caught in the endless black hole that can (sometimes) be a conversation with our parents. While you might want to get things done quickly and get out of there, you need to be prepared to fully answer all their questions, without getting frustrated. They’re just asking a million questions because they love and care about you, and getting frustrated with them might lead to a much more negative conversation about you and S.O.
8. Talk Up Your New S.O.:
No matter what, your parents will always think of you as their baby girl. It’s frustrating, but it’s a normal part of life it also means they’re not going to settle for anything less than the best for you. That means you have to show them that you’ve chosen someone who’s great to be in a relationship with.
The best way to do that? Spend a lot of time talking to your new S.O. Make sure you tell your parents how sweet they are, how happy they are to make you—basically, they’re just going through a list of all the awesome reasons why you like them. Your parents want to see you happy and well taken care of, so talking about how excited you are about your new relationship will help you rest any longer fears.
9. How to React if Your Parents Disapprove:
(a)Listen to their concerns:
Love can blind us. Your parents may be exaggerating the fact that you have a boyfriend. On the other hand, they definitely have some reasonable concerns that you should take into account.
Quietly and respectfully ask your parents why they don’t approve of your boyfriend. Perhaps his characteristic makes them feel nervous, and that anxiety could very well be legitimate and something you should think more intensely about. Even if the reasons they give do not seem to be significant, responding to their doubts and fears will give you an idea of what you need to do to persuade them that the relationship is all right.
(b)Understand their role:
Good parents take the job of protecting their children very seriously, so it’s only natural that they may have to compete to accept the fact that you’re growing up. Try to have a little gratitude for them.
Besides being empathetic, you should be respectful, too. No matter how the conversation goes, you should respect your parents. If you disagree with them in a respectful way, your parents are likely to feel less upset and may eventually be convinced to change their opinion.
(c)Determine whether or not to keep the relationship going:
Find out how much your relationship with your boyfriend means to you, and how dramatically your relationship with your parents might be constricted if you keep on dating. Weigh the pros and cons of all sides to draw a compromise on what to do. Yes, you love your boyfriend, of course, but your parents will be your parents for the rest of your life.
If you’re not willing to stop seeing your boyfriend, keep bringing your parents up to date. The more you talk about things, the better both sides will be able to understand each other. You might even get your parents to give up.
You should also give your parents more opportunities to get to know your boyfriend. The more time they spend with him, the more effective their understanding of him is. If he’s a good guy, they might eventually drop their guard long enough to see that.
It’s a good idea to hold an informal conversation before you tell your parents about your relationship. For example, your boyfriend might be able to attend a group hangout with other friends in your home. This allows your parents to get to know him.
(e)Discuss the matter with your boyfriend:
A good guy will acknowledge that winning your parents’ permission is an important step in your relationship. Together, you two might be able to figure out some way to convince your parents to bestow their blessing on you.
If your parents never met the man, he might offer to introduce himself to them as a way of easing their minds.
If your parents have given possible explanations about why they do not approve of your boyfriend, letting him know about these reasons may lead him to try to correct whatever behavior or condition they feel nervous about.
(f)Ask his parents for help:
Discuss your relationship with the parents of your boyfriend, and seek their authorization. If they approve, they might be willing to talk to your parents and try to convince them, too.
This step can be particularly beneficial if you’re a teenager, and he’s your first boyfriend. Adults tend to have a better relationship with each other than adolescents, so if two respectable adults approach your parents and defend your relationship, offering their assurance about their son in the process, your parents may be willing to take this new evidence into careful consideration.